Monday, April 15, 2013

I wonder if this is the same for everyone?

Last week was a study and pass a test work. I didn't have any "work" (ie. no class or setups needed). I really enjoyed that week. I have to work on a setup this week and teach a night class. I really don't want to. I don't want to work. Now I assume that no one really WANTS to work but I wonder who enjoys their job enough that they look forward to it? How many people would continue to work if they won a lottery or for whatever reason didn't need the money? I know I wouldn't. I might do things that some would consider work but I doubt it.

My other thing sticking in my head today is how does someone actually find a "job" that they love so much, it isn't work? One of these days I would love to be one of those people....IF they really exist.

Sunday, April 14, 2013

I always wonder....

am I better off writing ANYTHING just so I can say I wrote something or should I only write when I have something interesting or useful.

These are the things I waste brain power on.

Saturday, April 13, 2013

Today was a catch up day...

Unfortunately, none of the things that I caught up on were really that important. I caught up on tv...reading...that kind of thing. It was a bit of a lazy day but I think it was useful....or at least that is what I am telling myself. I am debating whether I should try to accomplish something tonight or just call it a day and try to make some headway tomorrow.

There is one thing I wish I could master....I am sitting here right now, way too hungry. I shouldn't be. I ate dinner...even had a dessert. I think the best invention would be a really good hunger control med. I wish I was good at fasting. I think it would make my life much easier. I think it would make many lives easier. I would just digest myself over time.

Wow....that sounds gross saying it that way.

I did a reread....

and I make myself sad. I am a bit (sarcasm) or a mope. I love numeric coincidences and I noticed that since January of 2012, including the post earlier today, I have posted 100 times. Sounds like a good number to me so I started here and read them all. I learned something that I have always known about myself. I am a lazy talker. I have big plans or big ideas but completely lack follow through IF there is no external motivation to finish. Work and projects for any problem. There is money involved. When I have had a girlfriend/wife, there was the, "I want to have sex" concept so NO problem with following up. The problem is I have no internal discipline....or at least that is how it feels. My health, my goals, really anything that I come up with in my head that I want to do seems to peter out at some point. Things tend to last a week or two and then I get bored or distracted and don't stick to it.

That has to change....for so many reasons. The ultimate reason is I am beginning to feel my life being wasted. I remember when I was younger and had so many plans and ideas and dreams. I am no closer to any of them today than I was 30 plus years ago. Don't get me wrong...I know I have done things. I have made accomplishments....just not the ones I wanted to back then and (in the deep recesses of my mind) still want to. There is a triad of things that I want to do to push me in the direction I want to go. I am going to just list them for now....I will probably fill in details in future posts this weekend.

1) Start at least two new blogs for "specialized" info.

2) Really push myself when it comes to my continuing education in the world of computers and technology.

3) The health and weight.

I know that there is always the concern that I will bite off more than I can handle but I feel that I need all three of these things to start my life in the direction I want to go. I have always heard the term late bloomer but I have always feared that I was kind of the opposite. I look back to my youth...teens and twenties mainly and it just seems like I was so much more "powerful" or capable back then. I feel like there were so many missed opportunities if I had only DONE something with my skills. Instead, I frittered my time away doing nothing....unless you feel that the first paragraph here.

Here's to me finally blooming.

Friday, April 12, 2013

Without rereading anything for now...(so I don't annoy myself)

I figure it is time to write again. Actually there are a few things triggering it and I will hopefully talk about them some other time. For now, let's just say I have an unexpectedly free weekend, a lot to say and a pleasant surprise for myself.

This post is just to point out the surprise. Even though I haven't been actively pushing to lose weight, I have been slowly dropping due to minor changes in my life. Since I have been thinking about "going active" as well as beginning to blog again, I checked out my site. I saw the tickers (and yes, I still love them even though I keep having to recreate them because I forget my pin to update them) and realized that I have go right through my listed short term goal of 46 pounds down.

I don't remember if I ever explained where the numbers came from that I use so....

When I first joined Weight Watchers (in summer 04 I think) I was at my highest weight that I rounded up to 465. Their charts say that I should weigh 189. The math says I had 276 pounds to go and my 10% (which was the first goal back in those days) was 46 pounds (when rounded down). I pretty quickly noticed that through a cute coincidence, 276/46 = 6. Six predifined "short term" goals was too good to not use, as far as I was concerned.

When I set the whole thing up, I used the football player to symnolize the "long and tough" road ahead to my final goal. I used the airplane to show the "speed" I hoped to use to pass through the first "short term" but that obviously didn't take place. Now I have chosen a racehorse...big, heavy BUT can be pretty fast if the want to be.

With this first "new return" post completed....I am probably going to reread some stuff just to remind myself what I have and haven't shared and may write later....if not, then tomorrow.

Sunday, January 6, 2013

So what's the plan?

I don't really have one. I wanted to try a fast for a few days to "clean my system" but I had trouble with that. I didn't want to be in a nasty mood while my youngest was here for the weekend so I didn't bother to force it. I may attempt it again in a day or so. The key developments as far as I am concerned are, I am still 428 which is amazing to me. No yoyoing (is that a word?)

The second thing is that I am not going to bust on myself too hard right now. I think my goal has to be to try small things and see how they go. At least that is my story for now. We will see how things go.

Thanks for reading (for anyone who still is).